Insights
by Rothalion
Summary: Jecht observes Auron after the young warrior is forced to command a company of Warrior Monks in battle. braska too is shocked by his young guardians demeanor. Old friends show up and enemies spoil the day.
1. Default Chapter

Title:   
Author: Rothalion   
Rating: PG   
Summery: I wanted to do a Jecht POV so this is it. Jecht and Braska observe a little different side of Auron after the trio is stuck in a town near where a fierce battle is being fought against Sin spawn. Despite his censorship from Bevelle Auron is given command of a company of Warrior Monks and Crusaders and sent out to rescue a pinned down group of fighters. It's gotten out of control!   
Review to please:   
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the FFX characters. Jasper is mine.

Insights

Braska couldn't wait. As soon as the word was out that the company Auron had taken into battle had finally, after four long days, returned the Summoner fled the temple to return to the inn. I had no idea that the man could walk that fast. He wanted to hear some word about Auron and the man wanted it now. Braska, for as calm and controlled as he normally was, had been a wreck since the warrior monk had been drafted back into the ranks after a sin attack wiped out three companies of fighters and the remaining troops were left virtually leaderless. Poor kid, someone had recognized him as we walked into the small outpost not far from Dojse. Next thing Braska knew Auron was 'begging his leave' as the pup put it to go help in the fight. Braska's face turned white at the thought, but he relented after Auron convinced him that this was not after all his first command. As for me, I was worried because we had pretty much fought a runnin' battle with fiends and damn near didn't make to the outpost. The Pup was exhausted and now, just like 'that', he was headin right back out.

So, for four miserable days, I was stuck tryin to keep the worried Summoner calm. I reminded the frantic Braska that, hell, Auron had stayed gone for for seven years fighting all over Spira, you survived that you can get through this. No, no, no that didn't work. Braska told me that this was different, too close to home. That when Auron was away he worried but here, right near the battle he had to see the wounded and the dead come and go. He had to heal them. With tears in his blue eyes he told me that he was afraid to open the blankets the dead were brought back in. Afraid he might find Auron. He trembled as he told me that the day before he had been opening one of the blankets and a shock of jet black hair and a red clad sleeve came into view, the mans face had been badly burned. It took him ten or minuets before he could bear to look at the rest of the body for Auron's scars. Scars? Damn...what the hell kind of world was this when you had to know a man's scars to find him? In the end it wasn't the Pup but the summoner was distressed by the experience to say the least.

Finally, in record time, we reached the inn. The troops were already in. Some had gone to the aid tents, some to the tents to sleep, but a good many of them had headed straight into the tavern. Braska made a bee line for the door. The place was large and packed with filthy, blood and mud covered men. The noise was insane and the stench nearly overpowering. We stood at the door searching the crowd for a few short moments before a loud round of singing cut through the noise. I turned my head toward the song and saw a group of about fifteen warrior monks and a handful of crusaders waving their mugs in the air along with the tune. In the middle of the mess was Auron. I elbowed Braska and pointed.

"There Summoner, there." I had to scream to be heard. "Near the fireplace." Braska followed my gaze and as soon as he spied the Pup he gasped.

"Hurry let's go!" He hollered. His eyes full of concern.

"No. Braska give him some time. Look at him. I've never seen the miserable bastard smile and laugh like that! Just look at him."

The Pup reveled with 'his' men. New, yes; but they were his. It was so odd to see him hold court in the center of the crazed inn. Yet there he sat, on the back of a chair with his mud and blood covered feet in the seat, a huge mug of the local brew in each hand, a smile on his dirty, battered face as long as the highbridge and to top it all off he was laughing. Really laughing. My first thought was that he was a callous fuck. Rumor said he'd lost eighteen men on his mission, and fuck they damn sure weren't laughing. Happy I s'pose just be alive. Men would walk up and put a drink on the table in front of the kid, slap him on the back, embrace him briefly then move on. The table was already double stacked with the large clay mugs, more brew than Auron had probably drank in his entire life. I grabbed Braska's shoulder and led him to an empty table. The summoner turned his chair so the he could see his friend.

I sat there watchin' Braska watch Auron. The summoner seemed sad all of a sudden. The light had dimmed from his eyes and the smile he'd flashed when he first saw the Pup was gone.

"Summoner, you alright?" I asked him concerned that I'd ticked him off by trying to let the pup blow off some steam. Damn how they confused me with their off moods! The gentle healer had gone from, 'I'm so flippin' happy to see ya. To...to I don't know what! Some kinda glum mood. Shit if I knew. Auron was alright and all was well.

"Yes. Jecht, he just seems so alive. So happy. I think I have done him a great injustice allowing him to travel with me. He must miss this. This camaraderie. Look at them. They show him such honor, such respect."

"Braska, you know as well as I do there ain't no way that kid's gonna let you journey alone. No damn way. Yea, I'm sure he misses it, hell I miss the shit out of it. The women, the drinking, the parties...the men. Your men. your team. So yea he misses it, but 'you' are his world. You come before any desire he might have to obtain something for himself. You."

"Yes but what right do I have to allow it. I could have said no. He could have stayed. Served his censorship and returned to the ranks."

Just then I saw Auron look our way. The smile slid away, replaced with an exhausted frown and he began to push his way free of the crowd around him. By the time he'd crossed the bar and reached us he gained three more mugs of brew. We both stood as he put the mugs on the table and turned to face Braska. Damn he was a mess! A large, nasty gash crossed his face starting above his left eye and slashing on an angle down and across the bridge of his nose, crossing his cheek and stopping on his neck just below his right ear. His right eye was nearly swollen shut, his hair matted with blood. The warrior favored his left side, and was scratched and scrapped all over his arms. Blood and dirt covered his clothing and his breastplate had been punctured clean through just below his heart. Old blood crusted there in quantity.

Without hesitation Braska drew Auron into his arms. The summoner's face was a mask of sorrow and sympathy. He'd seen the pup hurt before, but this somehow was different. Up close the kid was battered in both his body and his mind, he was exhausted, I couldn't understand where he had found the strength to celebrate with his men. In his boots, I know, I'da just crawled into bed and slept. Braska wouldn't let him go.

"My lord, I am fine. Please..."

"You need a healer, Little Lion, let me heal you." Braska gently pushed him away, "Please you are injured." The summoner pleaded

"No, my lord. I will wait for the injury report for my men, the courier should arrive at any time. Only then will I rest. Lord, I lost eight... eighteen lord...I.. I am sorry you had to see me like this. Braska...Yevon, Braska..." He moaned and pushed away from the Summoner.

The kid faltered and sagged a bit and I thought he was gonna fall, so I stepped up and not wanting him to look weak I wrapped my arms around him like a hug. He tensed a bit, surprised at my action but quickly relaxed into my arms and held on to me tightly. I whispered in his ear,

"You're going down Pup, let me back you up to the chair, just pretend it's a hug." He relaxed a even more into my arms, saying my name, his voice so full of emotion. Emotion I never thought him capable of; and as I sat him down I told him it was good to have him home, his tired head nodded weakly against my shoulder and he whispered a hoarse thank you.

Once we were all seated again Auron leaned forward and with a sigh grasped one of the mugs and took a deep drink. Braska started to protest but I shut him up with a look.

"I'll take one of those." and I reached out and grabbed a mug fully knowing that I would need to drink both of them if I was going to keep the kid out of it. Oath be damned, I needed a drink, just seein' the state that the Pup was in nearly drove me to violence. We all sat in silence. Braska just stared at his guardian and Auron seemed a bit lost, just sitting there working on his brew and staring off toward the door. What do you say? The man, the man child, just spent four days fighting against uncounted fiends, lost eighteen men under his command, he's wounded, exhausted and to top all that dammit he's really just a fuckin' kid, a kid commanding a force of 'sixty men'. I couldn't imagine my whiny runt dealin' with the stuff Auron did; not unless the brat did a whole lotta growin up. Braska broke the silence.

"I am sorry Auron; you could have stayed with your men, you may return."

The summoner nearly pulled it off. His voice said 'yea, go ahead return,' but his eyes said 'you ain't leavin' my side again, guardian, not until I heal you.' I couldn't blame the guy, after four days of non stop worry over the Pup Braska wasn't about to let him slip away that easily. I wonder if that's how my wife felt. I'd go missing for days at a time, no call, no message; she'd always take me back. I wonder if she dreaded the next time I'd leave. I wondered if when Sin took me she just passed the time for three or four days unconcerned figuring I'd just pop back in. Sorry honey not this time.

"No, my lord, I am too tired and they have had their fun with me. It is alright. Thank you."

Just as the kid finished talkin' I heard someone holler out his name.

"Auron! Auron?!"

The kid's head shot up like he'd been hit with thundaga. I followed his gaze and saw the biggest bastard I'd ever seen in my life comin' through the door. The big warrior monk was damn near the size of one of those Ronsos. Auron jumped up and stepped around the table as the giant reached us. The look on the kid's face was priceless. It was pure joy. No other way to describe it. Again I was shocked by his open display of such happiness. The smile was back and for a moment his exhaustion and pain all but forgotten.

"Jasper, Yevon, is it truly you. Jasper?" Auron's words were cut off as the man dragged him into a fierce embrace. "Jasper easy, I am injured."

"Then see the healers boy, but don't deny me my hug. Yevon, Rascal how long has it been?" The giant pushed Auron away and placed his huge hands softly on either side of the pup's face, careful to avoid the wound. For a long moment the two stared at each other. Auron was breathing with short breaths, I'd seen him pant like that when he had busted ribs, but I felt like this was something more...maybe raw emotion maybe a little of both. Jasper seemed pained by the condition of his younger friend.

"Yevon, Auron what've they done to ya this time?" The big head shook side to side, "Will they give ya no peace? AHH! Censorship and now this...! They throw ya out and drag ya back into their noble mess!"

"No, Jasper. No. No peace..." The words were only a hoarse whisper, but filled with pain.

I watched, shocked, as slow tears began to slip down Auron's stubled, grime covered, face. I couldn't believe the pup was cryin'. What an 'ass' he must figure me for! All those times I told them what big cry baby my kid was. Damn. Now here he was, a warrior monk, a soldier crying. My kid's only seven and I gave him an endless ration of shit for his tears.

"It's alright boy, Jasper's here; don't ya go soft on me now. Auron?" He stared into Auron's open eye. The huge man's voice was incredibly gentle. "Come on now...hang on for me. It's over. Now you can rest Rascal, you can rest. Jasper's here. Rascal, rest, just rest."

Auron began to tremble. He no longer seemed to care if the other warrior monks saw his fatigue or his grief. Jasper had given him the word and he was letting go. It was as if he needed to be told to let go, to take his turn away from the fighting , away from the grief. Watching them, I had the feeling that this was somehow routine for the two old friends. The tension and hurt fled Auron's body, and the rush left him visibly weakened.

"Jas...lost eighteen, Jas...eighteen. Another new fiend, never before..." He hiccupped a soft sob. "I... am... so damn tired... of death Jasper. Jus' wanna sleep. Jasper, they won't let me sleep. Jasper, why? Why? You said at Beville I could rest...but..."

The big man put his right hand behind Auron's head, and pulled it gently downward until rested on his broad chest, his left hand encircled Auron's shaking shoulders and he rocked the battered kid slowly side to side. The Pup was held up by and engulfed in the bulk of the big warrior monk, his hands grabbing on to Jasper's robe as though the man was his only salvation, a chunk of flotsam in the shipwreck that was the battle against Sin.

Jasper bowed his head down until his face was buried in Auron's filthy hair. The dirt and odor didn't seem to bother the man, his only concern seemed to be Auron. The two stayed like that for a bit. Braska actually looked jealous. Auron had just crumpled into this Jasper character's arms. Given in to his emotions with 'Jasper', something I think Braska figured he had dibs on. The summoner could only watch as exhausted sobs shook his guardian's battered body. It must've been strange for the man to see Auron being comforted by the stranger. Then Braska was cryin' too. I just sat there. I don't know if I understood Auron's suffering. I was just confused about the scene before me. Auron was so damn strong, yet here he was sobbing in this guy's arms.

"Auron, sit back down." Jasper pushed the kid back into the chair. Auron was slow to release him. The big warrior then sat down and leaned toward Auron. "Auron, when did you last eat?" He asked rubbing a calloused thumb across Auron's damp cheek, the tears wiping away a bit of the grime. The kid had his elbows on the table, the middle of his forehead resting on his right hand, he just shook his head, and Jasper reached out and grabbed the hand of a passing server.

"Food for my friend, and four more mugs, quickly now, he needs to eat."

Jasper gave the order without taking his eyes off the pup. The woman scurried away and Jasper reached out and pushed a strand of hair from Auron's face. Then he sat back in his chair and looked straight at Braska. My hand moved to my sword, the look in Jasper's eyes wasn't completely friendly. It was full of accusation, full of anger.

"Don't bother Blitzer, I'd have your head off before you could unsheathe it."

I released the weapon and leaned back crossing my arms on my chest. He was probably right. I'd gotten a bit better with the weapon but I was still no match for Auron, and this guy looked every bit as skilled as the Pup. Still it bugged me that his tone suggested he was more annoyed with me than threatened by me. So I watched as Braska and Jasper stared at one another, I don't think the summoner knew what to say or what the big warrior wanted. Auron was still hunched over unaware of the situation. "The fine, and outstanding work of your church and your damned god, summoner. Damn fine work!" Jasper pointed a finger in the direction of Auron. "He's been leadin' men into battle since he was nineteen damn years old and that's if you figured his age right when ya took em in. Men twice his age. All because of his skill as a swordsman, and skill as a leader. Did ya consider what was in his heart? All he ever wanted was to be a priest! To study the histories! To write! To create! Not 'kill' damn you! Did ya? Did ya ask him? You bastards just throw 'em out to the wolves! All the physical training in the world can't prepare a man for sending his comrades to their deaths, and trust me summoner, I went through the temple too mind ya, the mental training don't cut it either. Not with one so young. Not when they... damn!" His voice grew soft , a hissing viperish whisper, nearly pleading. "Not when they're like him! He's gotta 'gentle' soul Summoner. Gentle, and you bastard's stomped it into the dirt and filth that defines this farce of a religion! He was too young! Too young! Simply not ready ta lead. Not men to their deaths."

Auron must of started listening at some point, because his head lifted a bit and he put his hand on Jasper's arm.

"Jasper, please, that is my lord Jasper. Please. My decision after all, Jasper. Do not make me defend him just now. So tired."

"Argh! Your decision! Damn brain washin' is what it was! I know Auron but ...ya know how I feel. We've been over it!" The warrior sat back in his chair and rubbed his eyes "Good, the food's here. You eat boy! Don't make me force ya."

"Yes, Jasper." The reply was almost child like. Auron looked at the plate in front of him a grimaced. He didn't want to eat. He wanted the report on his men, and he wanted to go to bed. Food didn't matter. Slowly he began to eat a little bread dipped in the gravy, and a bit of the cheese.

Jasper smiled as he watched Auron eat and then, turning to Braska,

"I am sorry lord. " A quick bow of his head, "I am Jasper, good friend, and for five years tent mate and second to Auron. My apology for getting off on the wrong foot so to speak. He...he is very important to me, and I hate to see him hurting. For five years I put him back together, body and soul after every battle. Five years of wathchin' the death and dyin' tear him apart. Trust me Summoner, after fixin' his shattered heart for so damn long...I am damn sure I know what lies in it." He extended a huge hand to the summoner who took it in both of his and nodded.

"Jasper. Yes I have heard a great deal about you. Auron holds you in the highest esteem. No apology is needed. I have often voiced a similar opinion, and did so to Auron many times during his training. He was always set on this path though Jasper, always. Why he bowed to the churches whims I do not know. He was skilled at fighting and he gave them those skills. I know that he considers himself their tool to use as needed. I do not think anyone or anything could have changed his mind. Anymore than one could have changed yours when you were young." Braska looked across the table and stared into Auron's good eye. "I am sorry if I failed you, Little Lion."

"You did not my lord. You could never. There was no way for us to know..."

"You! Be quiet and eat." Jasper shouted. Braska chuckled at the command, and Auron went back to sopping his bread and sipping from his mug. "And who is this?" He pointed at me.

"Jasper," Braska began, "This is my other guardian, Jecht. While new the the task of guardianship he has shown himself admirably."

"Good ta meet ya Jecht." Jasper extended his hand and I grasped it. "A Blitzer no?"

"Yea, I'm a Blitzer the best. I'm ta Blitzball what the pup there is ta swordsmanship." I watched a broad smile cross the giant's face, at least he wasn't gonna hold a grudge about the sword incident.

"That may be Blitzer, but ya won't ever hear Auron boast about it. Right boy." He turned to Auron.

We all began to laugh the tense minuets of earlier forgotten. Auron had given up on eating and had tipped his chair up on the back two legs so that it was leaning against the wall. His eyes were closed and the mug sat on his lap in his relaxed hands. Jasper shook his head, took the mug and placed it on the table.

"I should order him to bed." Braska said sadly.

"No summoner, he won't go. Trust 'me'. Until he hears from the courier he'll stay right there."

We sat talking quietly for a time. The kid was out. I, though, needed to go the bathroom, but I knew if I left Braska alone the Pup would have my head. I was stuck, it seemed rude to ask him to go with me, which would leave Jasper alone.

"Braska, I ah, I need to excuse myself for a moment, Jasper, would ya mind lookin after the summoner here for a few minuets. Braska, ya know the Pup would kill me..."

"Go ahead Jecht. He will be none the wiser." Braska smiled at me and nodded.

I stood to go, but only took about three steps before I heard someone hollering.

"You! You! You killed my brothers. I know you were censored in Bevelle. You had no right to command. It's your fault!"

I turned toward the voice and watched in horror, as the warrior monk slammed the table forward crushing Auron up against the wall. The Pup's head snapped back against the solid timber with a sick thud. Braska was thrown to floor in a heap and Jasper was tangled in the table leg. Before we could react the angry warrior drew his sword and with a fast, powerful lunge stabbed it straight into Auron's chest, downward from just above the pups left breast. I grabbed the bastard from behind and took him down, but his blade stayed stuck in Auron and the wall. Jasper seeing that I had the attacker and was getting the aid of several other warriors threw the table aside and rushed to Auron. He stood there frozen for a moment, even for a seasoned fighter the sight of the kid sitting in his chair pinned to wall was overwhelming. Auron's eye was wide with fear, his mouth open, blood dripping down his chin. The giant looked at me, then at fallen form of Braska and shot out commands.

"Blitzer, leave that bastard to the others, see to your Summoner, we will need his services as a healer." He turned back to Auron.

I couldn't see him, but I could hear him talking to the kid.

"You're gonna be alright Aur, just...just hang on. Look Rascal, I gotta get the sword out. You gotta be strong for me now. Don't ya give up on me. Damnit, Auron! Rascal, hold on!"

I got Braska up and we rushed to Jasper's side. The kid looked bad. Braska started to shake, and I put my hand on his shoulder to steady him. I couldn't imagine seein my kid skewered and pinned to a wall, with blood spurting from his mouth.

"Get control of yourself Braska, you're gonna have ta save him. Ready boy?" Jasper asked the kid. To my amazement he nodded in response and his eye shifted to look at Braska, his blood covered lips whispered 'My lord, I am sorry'. Then Jasper placed his left hand on Auron's chest over the wound his fingers spread wide around the blade. "Auron, on three."   
The kid nodded again and on the count of three Jasper yanked the sword from the wall and Auron's chest. Auron, screamed, stiffened and went limp. His eye glazing over.

Jasper threw the weapon aside and grabbing Auron out of the chair, layed him on the floor with the kid's head on his knees. The pup was shakin' and more blood was coming from his mouth. Braska leaned over him, seemingly in shock until Jasper hit him on the shoulder and then the summoner started to chant. I could hear the kid gasping, and gurgling, then he went still. Nothin'. The shaking stopped, the gasping stopped the kid's eye stared up sightlessly. He was dead.

In a daze I heard Jasper screamin' at the summoner to cast life, but Braska seemed lost. Finally Jasper slapped the man across the face and Braska snapped out of it. He placed a hand on Auron's forehead and one on his chest. He started chanting again and light shot from his body and into Auron. The kid arched up like he was in pain, a gasp escaping his lips. Braska let off and him and Jasper stared down at the kid. Auron's eye fluttered open and Jasper sighed, but as quick as it seemed the spell had worked the kid spasmed again and was still.

"Again, Braska, Full Life again!" The big warrior ordered, staring into the summoner's eyes. Braska was soaked in sweat and looked tired. He placed his hands on the kid and chanted. I could hear Jasper begging the kid to come back. To be strong. Then Auron's body arched and the eye shot open. Jasper grabbed Auron's face in his hands and screamed at him. Braska collapsed onto himself and I pushed my fear aside and went to his side. I had heard of the Life spell but I had yet to see it.

"Auron, you look at me! Look at me Rascal. Don't you go boy! No, open your eyes! Open em! Now, Rascal! Stay with me!"

Auron shook his head from side to side, and I heard the scariest words I'd ever hear come from his mouth. Words that would stay with me for the rest of our journey.

"Let... me... go... Jasper, please. Jas let me... sleep. Lord, please... let me go...its so beautiful there." His words were stopped as his body convulsed again and Jasper yanked him into his arms, his hand on Auron's forehead. Now he began to chant. A blue healing spell engulfed them and Auron relaxed. Jasper pulled him into his arms and stood.

"You, Blitzer, give this to Braska." He fumbled in his belt and tossed me an Ether" You, warrior monk," he pointed to an onlooker, "Go get me a healer, and be quick! Summoner Braska's room." He turned and ran for the stairs me and an exhausted Braska in tow.

Once upstairs Jasper put Auron on the bed and I sat Braska in the chair. The Pup was breathing in short little gasps, he was ghostly pale and his lips were bluish. Jasper started tear off Auron's robe and chest plate, talking to him the whole time, telling him to hang on. I figured the kid was in real bad shape if Jasper was still so worried about him.

"Blitzer, get me some rags and some warm water from downstairs. Hurry now."

I took off to get the stuff taking the stairs two at a time. Things had quieted down in the tavern and Auron's men were waiting at the bottom of the stairs. The faces were full of concern and anger. I wouldn't want to be the bastard who'd attacked the Pup, these guys looked set to kill.

"Auron? How is Auron?" One of the group asked stepping forward as I hit the last step.

"Not so good, I think." and I realized my voice was shaking. "Not so good. That big fellow, Jasper, seems pretty worried. Look I gotta take him some stuff, as soon as I know more I'll tell you."

I returned to the room to find a second healer working on Auron. After handing the supplies over to him I went to check on Braska. He was pale and trembling. The stricken Summoner stared at the scene unfolding on the bed with glassy unbelieving eyes. Jasper and the healer were frantically working to stabilize Auron. He could be heard shouting out in pain as they cast spell after spell on his battered frame. Magic flew around the small room and the air seemed to crackle with a strange almost electric current. Time was standin' still.

Finally, Auron grew quiet, and Jasper stepped back from the bed. He turned to us and the strain of what had just taken place was written on his face. Braska stood shakily and walked toward the big monk, fear and hope in his pale blue eyes.

Jasper closed his eyes and nodded. "He'll make it. He'll make it." Was all he said. I had the feelin' that those few words were all the exhausted man could manage. He placed a huge paw on Braska's shoulder and squeezed it tightly. "Go to him. Finish cleanin' him up. He's gonna be out for a good while, but I know he still needs you near him. Me, I'm gonna go and see what they've done with the bastard who did this."

"You should rest Jasper." The summoner told him.

"Yes, rest in a bottle." With that he popped out a potion, downed it and went through the door with the other healer.


	2. chapter two

Title:  
Author: Rothalion  
Rating: PG language, Jechts a bit rough around the edges  
Summery: I wanted to do a Jecht POV so this is it. Jecht and Braska observe a little different side of Auron after the trio is stuck in a town near where a fierce battle is being fought against Sin spawn. Despite his censorship from Bevelle Auron is given command of a company of Warrior Monks and Crusaders and sent out to rescue a pinned down group of fighters. It's gotten out of control!  
Review to please: I do not own any of the FFX characters. Jasper is mine.

Ok, Sorry to be away for so long. I'm writing over in the Alexander the great movie fandom as well so I'm juggling things around. This is the next chapter for Insights. It is not prowled over with a fine tooth comb yet but I need to get back over here so I'm putting it up. I'll tweak itas I go. That in mind aside my my normal slew of punctuation errors forgive the coarseness of it. Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading and reviewing!

Insights Chapter Two

Later that night I headed back down to the main hall. Auron was asleep, with Braska curled around him on the small bed. The sight seemed strange to me but who am I to judge. I'd just never pictured them like this. Hell, it's not like I was ever shy about who I curled up with for comfort when away from my wife. Like they say any port in a storm and sometimes big strong arms are better than soft ones. Seein' them so close actually kinda made me feel a bit more lonely than I normally did. Braska said he wanted to be able to hear the Pup breath. I shrugged, went out the door and headed downstairs.

The place had settled down and only a couple dozen, now clean, crusaders and monks were there. Most pushed up to the long stone and timber bar talking in low voices. The party mood of earlier had given way to a much quieter one. I spotted Jasper sittin' alone at a table and headed that way.

He gestured for me to sit and pushed a mug my way. I waved it off and after spinning my chair around I sat down with my elbows leanin' on the back of it.

"Still sleeping?" He mumbled, without really looking at me. The harsh edge to his voice now gone.

"Yea."

"Braska?"

I shook my head at the question. "Hmph. Yea. The crazy summoner's curled up with Auron on that sad excuse of a bed. Go blitzen figure."

Jasper chuckled a sad chuckle faked a little and smile. "Yea, sounds like Braska, they're pretty close. He knows…knows what Auron needs right now." That got my attention. Damn, the guy almost sounded jealous. Auron must be considered some prize catch.

"The pup? What the Pup needs? Braska said it was so he could keep a check on his breathin'. Lord will I ever figure those two out!" I grabbed a passing server and ordered some food and coffee. "Auron needs…humph! Summoner just don't want to let him go!"

"Rumor says you're from Zanarakand." A long pause, "Any truth to that?" He asked looking up at me through squinty eyes.

I didn't know how to answer the man. Was I from Zanarakand? Were the only two men, in this whole screwed up world, that I could call friend curled round each other in bed? Did one of them get tacked to a wall by a sword today? Did I watch as he was dragged back to life twice? Was I from Zanarakand?

"Are Blitzballs fuckin' round?" I asked him with the snidest tone of voice I could manage. To my amazement, he tossed his burly head back and cracked up laughing. "What? You don't believe me either? Fuckin' figures." Despite myself I probably sounded pretty dejected. Then he surprised me.

"No, I figure Auron must. You know, believe you that is. He trusts you enough to leave Braska alone with you. So I do. I do believe you. Its just a bit, a bit of a far fetched thing to reconcile with. Especially being a Yevonite. I'm damn sure Auron didn't at first."

"No, and you didn't sound like much of a devout Yevonite earlier." Again the broad open smile. The waitress set my order down along with another mug for Jasper and scurried away. Most folks figure me for a dummy, but I'm always listenin' always pickin' stuff up. The big guy got serious on me.

"No, but I am. I've got some issues with the church but I'm as loyal as they come."

"And the Pup?" I asked looking up at him with a fork full meat. "Damn, he prays more'n I spit but he damn sure turned his back on 'em when it came to marryin'. What, he don't like girls?"

The smile faded and he leaned forward in his chair. " Girls! Hah! The 'Pup', as you call him," he sounded a bit too sarcastic, "is the finest swordsman to come through the Temple. His skill with a blade is unmatched; and his loyalty and 'devoutness' are renowned." He leaned closer to me, really angry now. "He'll 'die' for his beliefs Blitzer. For his oaths, humph, he is not afraid to stand alone even if it costs him 'everything'! Not like girls! He'll die for his summoner. He will die for you or me or anyone, or anything else he truly believes in. The Pup, will stand with Braska if they reach Zanarakand, and sacrifice himself alongside him. Braska will not die alone callin' the final Aeon. Auron will die with him, unable to continue live without him. Girls! This ain't about girls Blitzer."

I pushed my plate away, put my fork down angrily, the meat still in place, the weight of my hand shakin' the table, and stared at him. So that was their secret. The quiet, unspoken piece to the puzzle that they kept from me. Braska was on a suicide mission.

Jasper sat up very straight. "Yevon, you didn't know! You're truly are not from…" My complete shock at his admission must have been apparent.

"Auron 'won't' let Braska die. I 'won't' let Braska die!" I was suddenly enraged. "To hell with this forsaken excuse of a world! Braska die! The Pup die! You sayin' we're walkin' this path, killin' and fuckn' fightin' to keep him alive just so he can sacrifice himself in the end? Is that what you're telling me?"

"Shh, keep your voice down!" Jasper hissed at me. "Yes that is the way. 'No' guardian has ever returned, nor has a summoner."

"Auron worships him! He can't loose him like this!"

"No! Auron, even if he does somehow survive, will walk as a dead man. His Lord will be lost to him, his duty ended in twisted disgrace. Just as he has succeeded he will have also failed. If Auron is the perfect guardian Braska 'will' die. Auron…Auron will cease to be. That is the meaning of 'true' guardianship, Blitzer. Your only thought…"

"No! Damnit no!" I cut the big fool off. "Braska trusts him! Braska listens to him! Braska…aargh…Braska! Auron will make him 'stop'! The Pup will…" But he only continued.

"…is to fulfill your duty!" He pounded his fist on the table to mark his words. We were nose to nose leanin' in across the table. "Keep your lord alive until Zanarakand then, then… watch… him… die!" He again pounded the table with a huge fist in time with the words. "'Serve' your lord, Jecht. A duality that will destroy our young and determined friend. Yes, Jecht, your Pup, my Rascal, Braska's Little Lion will be destroyed."

I dragged the plate back and toyed with my food. Braska and Auron dead. What about me? "And me…the lost Blitz hero from a lost Zanarakand…where the hell do I fit in? What happens to 'me'?" I thumped my chest with a stiff calloused forefinger. "Just another dead guardian?" I spat furiously at him cocking my head to the right still starin' him down.

He leaned heavily back into his chair before answering. "I can't say." He sounded a bit more settled "What does Auron say? He is very well versed in the writings." Damn his calmness. It only drove me to anger again. What was it with these damn Warrior Monks and there calmness?

"Tight lipped bastard don't say shit." Frustrated, I pushed the plate away again and reached across the table for the extra mug of brew. Damned oath! "He doesn't say…maybe won't say. Hell, he probably just don't know and he's too damn proud to admit it."

We sat for a while in silence as I finished my food. I figured I should pick the big guys brain about Spira and Auron. I'm no genius but I didn't see an opportunity for information like this one to come my way again. The Pup was a tough nut to crack, and when you hooked him up with Braska the riddle became impossible. I figured on gettin this Jasper character to let me in on a bit of Auron info. So takin' the polite road…

"Known 'em long? The 'Rascal' as you call him." Hell, turn about's fair play so I served him his own sarcasm. I stood, spun my chair back around, plopped back down and tossed my feet up on the extra one, crossed my arms on my chest and waited. He seemed to think about answering me for a minute, maybe he was wonderin' why I was askin' or how much I already knew, then he kicked up his feet on another chair and started talking.

"Served under him, his Second, for five long years." He leaned back and motioned to a server for refills. "I'd say I know him. Like I said this afternoon. I've been puttin' him back together for years."

"Why's he such a stiff?" That brought on another round of laughter.

"Look," he leaned in, put his elbows on the table and gestured at me with open hands. "they gave the kid a command when he was seventeen. Nineteen at the most." The big monk then sat back again with disgust and threw his feet back up onto the chair. "He's really not so sure of his age. Anyway he choose me as his second. We were tent mates, friends, confidants. Fighting and battle brings a closeness between men. A stiff? He ain't no stiff Blitzer. He's just fucking wounded. He's tired." He paused and paid for the drinks.

"Wounded? Why were 'you' under him. You must be twice his age?"

"Auron is an exceptional commander. Don't get it wrong Blitzer." Now the Ronso sized monk was gonna get serious on me. "He could lead an army straight into Sin's gaping mouth if he had to and they'd go willingly. That's what terrifies him. Men follow his lead." He looked down at his hands and studied his thumbs as they traced spiraling tracks on his mug. "It's not what he wanted. The death and killing, the futility of it all took its toll. He broke."

The Pup broken, I couldn't see that. This big bastard was full of shit. He's so strong. So focused. Broke my Zanarakand ass. "By broke you mean…?"

"Broke. After a nasty battle we went to our tent. He was always horribly sullen after fighting, always so slow to let go of the battle. He'd go over and over it trying to decide what he'd done wrong and what to do better. I'd have to tell him to rest, order him to take his turn at what little peace we could manage." He snorted. "Ya know how many times I just put his ass to sleep? Yevon how he hated that. Damn good thing I can cast a sleep spell!"

I smiled and began to laugh at that bit of information. "Braska does it to him too, and yea, Auron still hates it. Damn stubborn kid." A vision of the Pup dead flashed across my memory and I shivered, when had I begun to care for that stone hearted bastard?

He also laughed and then went on. "This night was different. He'd lost twenty men to a strange fiend. The kid fought the thing single handed long enough for us to beat a retreat but still we lost twenty. Gone, incinerated, nothing left to send. He was devastated. Yevon, he was a battered mess but out of his guilt he refused any aid." Jasper closed his eyes tight against the memory and took a huge swallow from his mug before goin' on. "In the tent he sat down, pulled his knees up to his chin, wrapped his arms tightly around them and just started rocking. Rockin' and starin' straight ahead at nothing. I tried everything to bring him out of it. For four agonizing days, we tried spells and potions, talkin, and touchin, but he was gone. Just gone."

He stopped and studied me again. His eyes bright and questioning. I felt like he was tryin' to decide what I'd do with his information. Squirmin' a bit under his gaze I spoke tryin' to ease his mind.

"Look, I like the kid. No, after months on the road, I've grown to love the arrogant bastard. I just wanna understand a little about what makes him tick. I'm not gonna attack him with this. I just…well, I need to know how to keep him going, Jasper." I paused and stared at him "Especially now, now that I know."

Nodding he went on. "I…well…you saw them upstairs, together. I would do that for him. Just hold him." The big man dropped his head at the admission. "Yevon, he'd tremble for hours and hours sometimes after a battle. Not from fear. Just lost and stressed and exhausted. It wasn't so much the fightin' but the leading that wiped him out. The doubt." He shook his head. "He was just a kid. That day I told him, 'Rest Rascal, rest.' just like I always did but…" He took a huge guzzle of beer and sighed. "He was gone. After five brutal years of fighting against that beast he'd had enough. Five years of futility and sending men to die in the name of it…Jecht, he'd simply had enough." His voice had become a raspy whisper. He no longer seemed like the big, tough warrior that had entered the inn that afternoon. He'd softened both in word and actions. " On the fifth day, he came round. Three days later I was taking him back to Bevelle so he could rest. He told me he wanted to just read and listen to quiet music. To meditate and study. To sit in the square overlooking the sea and feed the birds." He ordered more drinks and went on even quieter still.

"You see Blitzer, Auron never truly wanted to fight. Yea, he's a superb warrior but he is a far better monk. He simply followed the church's decisions for his future blindly. Ya know what the biggest lesson they teach is? They teach ya 'not' to think. So I settled him in at the temple and returned to the field. That was three years ago. I heard about the censorship. Auron, as I said, is devout and his vows are his life. He meditated and fasted for four days before finally deciding to take his vows of celibacy or simply becoming a warrior of the temple. He did vow to defeat Sin as well. Marriage, the consummation of it, and being tied to a wife would rip him apart. Sure he'd be outta the fighting, but at what cost? A lifetime tied to a woman you had no desire for and no love for. This after you'd spent a lifetime fortifying your soul and body against such needs. I guess he stood his ground." He sighed, threw back the rest of his drink and shook his head sadly. "You know, I was actually glad he walked away. Glad up until I heard about Braska. Al Bhed lovin' bastard!" That raised my fur a bit but I held back for the Pup. He slammed a giant fist down into the table and went on, "Damn the pilgrimage! Damn it and the Calm it brings. The price is too high."

We sat talking until the sun began to throw light into the windows. I learned a lot about Spira and Auron that long sad night. The world he grew up in, this Spira, was full of death and despair. People like us givin' up our lives to bring ten short years of a sort of Calm as he called it. My Zanarakand was a vacation compared to this insanity. Jasper told me about how Braska had found the orphaned Auron living alone in a cave after his parents were taken by Sin. The Pup was only seven. He'd been in the cave for at least a year completely alone, livin' off the land, his dead old man's katana his only weapon. Jasper said it took months to bring the young orphan around, to get him to calm down, to speak again and enter the temple. That Auron had been wild and uncontrollable, nearly animal-like; Full of hate and fear over the death of his family. Back home I couldn't even send my kid to the corner store for food; he'd screw things up. A part of me was feelin' bad about gettin' the answers. Auron's so private. Yet I knew that knowing this stuff would help me pull him through the unbearable march before us. He's afraid of thunder and lightning. That struck me as odd, until Jasper told me why. It had killed his parents, controlled they think by Sin. Why couldn't Braska have let me in on some of this stuff? Damn him, its not like I never asked! Jasper was right. Auron wasn't a stiff really, he'd just suffered through so f-in much.

Finally as the breakfast crowd began to slip into the tavern we stood and headed upstairs with a fresh pot of hot coffee and some bread and cheese to check on The kid. In the room we found Braska much rested and tending to a very groggy Auron. The Pup was still as Braska wiped his face gently with a cool cloth and fussed over his unkempt hair. I stepped up to the bed, after Braska went for fresh water, squeezed his shoulder and winked at him but he really seemed too out of it to care. Stepping away I let Jasper take my place.

The big man sat softly on the edge of the small bed and stroked Auron's cheek with his knuckles. The two just stared at each other for a long time. Braska gave the bowl of clean water to Jasper and took a seat at the small table taking some coffee and bread. It stung my heart to know that once we left this outpost Jasper and Auron might never see each other again. What a fucked up world. The big Monk continued to dab at Auron with the comforting cool cloth, talkin' to him the whole time. Slowly I started to see a bit more alertness in the Pup's eyes. Slowly he was comin' around.

"That's better Rascal. That's what old Jasper wants to see. Just a little life in those dark eyes of your's. Good, good. Feelin' better? Your still a mess my friend. Still a bit fevered. Yevon, Auron, you and this blasted long hair. It's a fiends nest for sure. I'm gonna braid it for you after your bath. Just like I used to, remember? You need a bath Rascal, you truly need a good hot soak and a shampoo." He paused and cast a healing spell on the kid. These two were bound. I mean bound beyond normal sensibilities, but hey there was history between these two.

Jasper continued his care and soothing talk for a while. I was tired now and kept dozing off so I missed a lot of it. I woke up to Braska's voice askin' for my help. They wanted to get the now alert, but very weak Auron into the bath. We did and left Jasper in there with him to wash the Pup's matted hair and clean away the left over grime.

I walked from the small bathroom and sat down on the edge of the extra bed. I was suddenly completely overwhelmed with all that had gone down the last two days. The new information, the truth about the Final Aeon, the coming and probably unavoidable death that we were all facing, all at once it slammed into me like a Wendigo. Braska saw my hurt and came to my side.

"Jasper told you? Told you about the Final Aeon."

I couldn't face him. How could he do this to Auron. I nodded and mumbled a defeated yes. I wanted to kill him right then. How could he hurt the Pup like this, Auron Fuckin' loved this man!

"It must be this…" His voice was hollow, empty and wouldn't sway me.

I cut him off rudely. "Braska, if you love that kid and I know you do. Send him down the road with Jasper. Lock him up long enough so we can get ahead of him, just…" I broke off with a choking sob and the Summoner knelt down in front of me. I leaned forward and touched my forehead to his and let the tears slip down my scarred cheeks. I guess it was finally my turn to let go. "Just…just you can't do this to him. Let him see you die. He's had enough death for ten lifetimes. Braska!"

He pulled me into a tight hug. The first human contact I'd really had since getting' dumped off in this sick joke of a world. It was good but it wasn't gonna change a damn thing. Braska let go of me and shook his head no. I knew the answer would be no. I still had to try.

"Go to sleep, Jecht. You are exhausted. Get some rest, please." He gave me that smile, and of course I gave in. Between those blue eyes and that smile who wouldn't? How Auron didn't amazed me. You couldn't help but give in. So I nodded and stretched out hopeful that the Pup's continual requests to go back would win out.

"Or what Summoner? You'll put me to sleep." I teased as he stood. He threw me a weak smile and walked into the bathroom help Jasper with Auron. My eyes drooped shut as I watched Jasper carefully brush and braid Auron's dark hair. It was a familiar task and both seemed relaxed and comforted by it. The comfort of friends. If nothing else comes of this nightmare I've been cast into the lesson of devotion and love that a man can have with another man or to his world makes the whole mad journey worthwhile.


End file.
